i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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