I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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