I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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