You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
