he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
