I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
