The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
