i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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