Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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