Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
