My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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