She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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