I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am puke
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
