I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
