Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
