I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
