Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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