like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
