is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
