my mouth tastes like poor choices
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."