Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
