shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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