two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
