Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize