lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
