I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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