Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says