Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?