Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?