Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
