I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think my moral compass just broke
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
