dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
