Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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