**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
are you so shy because you have an std?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
