If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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