You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
