im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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