Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize