ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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