She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
