I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize