I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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