I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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