he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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