if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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