Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
