as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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