i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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