I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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