I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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