Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
barbara walters just said penis...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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