He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
