Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
