Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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