Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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