can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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