ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
