eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
