I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch