He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.