One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.