I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
