dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
