oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
