It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
