Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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