i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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