just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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