we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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