You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
