he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Pooping to opera.
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