He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
