My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
