I forgot how hot balto sounded
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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