so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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