Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
