that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize