Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
