Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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