Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
